Welcome to the Dark Side, We've Been Expecting You
by Happily Rainbow
Summary: Some characters are just what they seem. When trouble stirs in Phantomhive Manor, no one can stop her, Elizabeth Midford.
1. Chapter 1

It was a normal day at the Phantomhive Manor. The sun was shining, the food was burning, and Sebastian was taking care of his usual daily chores. He had already prepared tea, and was waiting for the young master to awaken.

"Young master, it is time for you to wake up." Sebastian pulled back the curtains.

"No. Go away Sebastian." Replies a very tired, very grumpy Ciel. He had been up all night, investigating a death cult.

"But Sir, Lady Elizabeth should be arriving at the manor any minute now."

"Elizabeth! Why didn't you inform me of this before. We can't have her getting in the way of things or snooping around." Ciel responds, jumping out of bed.

Ciel Phantomhive of course had some things to attend to. He was the queen's watchdog, owner of the Funtom company, and sadly the fiancée of Elizabeth Midford. As much as he loved his job he was wary of the day Elizabeth found out what he really does when he is away on business. She would deem it "not cute at all". Then who knows what she would do. Wait I know exactly what she would do.

Ciel Removes his eyepatch. "Sebastian. This is an order. Destroy everything pink, cute, or adorable that Lizzie may be able to get her hands on.

You must protect the manor from that wretchedness."

Sebastian smiles evilly, remembering when Lizzie put a pink bonnet on him. "Yes my lord. I will dispose of it all immediately ."

Within seconds everything cute is gone. It was all mysteriously burned. I wonder how that happened.. :)

Ciel sits down at the table in the garden, waiting for his tea. He waits, and waits, and waits, and waits. He looks around.

"Where is that bloody demon?!" He mutters looking around frantically. He sees a snake slithering around the table leg.

"Snake. Come here at once." He announces.

Snake pops out of the flowers holding four snakes. He seems to be talking to them.

"Y-yes sir. What do you need?"

"Have you seen Sebastian recently. I was supposed to have my tea an hour ago. Have your snakes heard anything."

Snake picks up one snake and seems to whisper to it. He then hold it up to his ear. He puts snake #1 down and picks up #2.

"He said something about hiding the cutest, most adorable person in Paris where you could never find it. -says Oscar"

"That bloody bastard. He knows well if I do not have my tea I get angry. How can I get my revenge... Snake. Go get Bard, Finny, and Mey Rin and meet me in the drawing room." Ciel stomps off, evil plans forming in his head.

~~The drawing room, where the most evil plans of revenge are formed.~~

Bard, Finny, Mey Rin, and Snake are seated in chairs facing the giant chalk board. Ciel stands at that chalk board drawing an idea web with Sebastian written in the center.

"Now I'm glad you all have attended this meeting." Ciel starts pacing. "Our goal is to humiliate, embarrass, or infuriate Sebastian. I have assignments for each of you. Mey Rin. Search all of Sebastian's belongings. If you find any felines give them to Bard. Bard. Your job is to cook these felines into tasty snacks. Finny. Do some research about demons and their weaknesses. Any questions?"

Finny raises his hand. "What do demons have to do with Mr. Sebastian?"

Ciel gives him a glare. "That is for me to know and you to not bother me about. Anyone else?"

Bard raises his hand. "Sebastian says that I cook too creatively. How should I address this?"

"As creatively as you feel the need to . Snake I have a very important message you must deliver. I must call upon *insert shudder* Alois Trancy to reach my goal. Invite him over. "

"BUT SIR! HE TRIED TO KILL US REPEATEDLY!" The servants were panicking.

"Just do it. No arguments." Ciel walks out of the room, getting ready to take stock of his weapon inventory just in case Trancy tried to lick his ear again. *shudder*


	2. Chapter 2

Now that I've sent those four crazy lunatics to do my bidding I can finally get down to business. Looking into my wardrobe I realize all of my pistols, ammunition, and revolvers are gone. What kind of bloody moron would take my most prized possessions.

I look into my blue jacket and find what looks like the remains if gun powder. That bloody demon. I decide to ask Bard if I can borrow some of his weapons. I know he has them. Besides if Lizzie and Trancy come over I need to be prepared. Lizzie. Oh no. I forgot she was coming. And where Lizzie comes-no. Not her. Anything but her.

Aunt Francis. The psychopathic mother-in-law. If you think a red-haired shinigami wielding a chainsaw is scary, you have NEVER EVER gotten close anywhere to the personality of my aunt.

Wait a second. Trancy. Elizabeth. Aunt Francis. What the hell have I gotten myself into! And without Sebastian too. Where is that bloody demon?

I need to go talk to the servants.

I find Mey Rin first.

"Status report Mey Rin. "

"No felines were found in Mr. Sebastian's belongings sir."She replied.

Oh well. Next servant. Finny.

"Finny. Have you found any good research?"

"N-No sir. Not many books on demons."

I'm starting to get sick of this. As much as I hate to admit it, I need Sebastian. Whatever. If you want something done right, do it yourself!

"Bard! Give me all of your weapons. You can keep the dynamite, just give me anything that resembles a gun."

Bard walks out of the pantry holding a huge box of what looks like my pistols.

"I found these this mornin'. Just sitting in this box in the pantry. Odd huh." Says Bard.

So that's where Sebastian hid them. Bloody Demon. I examine the contents of the box and find all of my firearms. All thirty of them. I hide ten in my coat and run to the front door.

I see Snake with Trancy, guiding him to the door. I don't see why Alois needs help getting to the door. He has legs. Better yet why is Claude not carrying him around. Why must he wear those dreaded booty shorts and boots. He is creepy enough without them.

Once he gets to the door, he twirls around and says, "Oh Ciel! You actually wanted to see me! I'm so happy! Ole!"

I pull out my revolver.

"Now Trancy, I called you hear for one reason and one reason only. I needed Claude. "

Alois goes and sits in his emo corner.

Claude on the other hand seems very happy. Almost too happy. That creepy demon.

"Never mind. Is Hannah available?"

Claude goes and sits in the emo corner also.

"Yes sir. What may I help you with."

I tell her to find a certain red-haired grim reaper. This should keep both the marquess and Sebastian busy.


	3. Chapter 3

As you can probably guess this is not going to end well for me. Alois has taken it upon himself to stay at the manor. He doesn't seem to understand the point of "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEP!" He just says that I'm a "meany butt".

AM I NOT THE NICEST PERSON TO EVER LIVE?

Anyway that creep has been following me around ALL DAY. He is almost (notice I said almost) as bad as Prince Soma. The only difference between the two is Trancy has that creepy obsession with me. *shudder*

"Phantomhive," he looks at me with that awful face that he makes when ever he is about to say something that could be interpreted in several different ways. "I want to play a game. Come play with me."

Never in a million years.

"Fine then Trancy. But I get to chose the game. " I say patiently. I my as well waste time. Sebastian hasn't returned yet. What is taking him so long?

I pull out the chess board and try to explain the game to Alois.

"This is a knight. I can only move 4 spaces. 3 up and 1 to the side, or one up and-"

"I will call you buttercup! Ole!" He starts dancing around with the knight. I didn't think he could get any weirder.

Alois sits down. "Let's make this interesting. Whoever loses must wear a dress for the rest of the day."

I will surely win. There is no way I could lose. I am Ciel Phantomhive. I have never lost a game of chess. Why would this idiot beat me?

"Deal"

~~~~~~~~ 20 minutes later-

"Die! Ciel's King!"

I look up at Trancy. Surely he couldn't have beat me. But there was my king in checkmate. Crap. I'll have to wear that dreadful, awful, pink, disgusting, vile, 'adorable', vomit-inducing dress.

Oh goodness. I've just realized. Aren't the Viscount and Trancy related? No. No. No. No. No. Not again.

Right about now I wish someone would kidnap me. I mean come on people, I haven't been kidnapped in a week. Mafia? Ash? Claude?

Anyone? Get me out of here!

"Oh Phantomhive! You remember our deal. I found this in your wardrobe. It should work." He holds up the article of clothing I dread the most. Frilly, pink, sparkly, it is all of my worst fears.

I thought I burned that weeks ago... Who would- SEBASTIAN!

I put on that dress. I still hate it. Using language as colorful as my dress, I walk out of my room and down the stairs. I thought this day couldn't

get any worse.

That is when I heard the carriage pull up.


	4. Chapter 4

And who was driving that carriage? None other than the demon that had abandon me for the past THREE DAYS. It's just my luck of course. Now I will have to listen to all of Sebastian's jokes about my dress. I run out to the carriage, not caring who is in it.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN SEBASTIAN? YOU HAVE BEEN GONE FOR THREE DAYS. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY TAKE THREE DAYS?-" Sebastian gets down from the carriage. He laughs at my appearance.

" Oh dear. I didn't realize there was a Lady Phantomhive. You should really plan in advance before you decide to dress like that. You wouldn't want Lady Elizabeth and her mother to see you like that."

"E-Elizabeth.." Please don't let her be in that carriage. Just then the door swung open.

"OH CIEL! I'M HERE! Wait a second." She peers down at me. " Who are you? I've seen you before. At the Viscount's party. What are you doing here? Where is Ciel?"

Thank goodness she doesn't recognize me. She continues asking me questions about my dress, why I'm at the manor, etc. I think she actually believes my cover story. That is until Trancy in his booty shorts and boots dances out of the door. And I thought things couldn't get any worse.

Oh wait, I'm Ciel Phantomhive. It could always get worse.

"Oi. Phantomhive." Alois starts laughing. "You look like a LADY!" He looks over at Elizabeth. "Who are you?"

Elizabeth looks very, VERY, confused. I don't blame her. I just hope she still believes my cover story.

"Phantomhive. Wait a second. Ciel! Why in the world are you wearing a dress? You look so adorable! Mother, come look at Ciel!"

Mother? Oh crap. Aunt Francis. The psychopathic mother-in-law. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Trancy lying motionless on the floor. Sebastian on a date with Grell. Lizzie spontaneously combusting. Aunt Francis and Edward suddenly going missing. Claude with the demon sword through him.

My aunt steps out of the carriage. "Ciel. Am I going to have to move back into the manor to watch you! You still have that ridiculous hair cut. AND YOU." My aunt turns to Sebastian. "Do you have something to do with the fact that he is wearing a dress. You also have those awful bangs. I'm going to have to fix those now. Vincent would be ashamed to see his son in a dress. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

She keeps nagging and nagging. When will this woman ever just shut up!

I look around, analyzing the situation. I could always use my revolvers….. No wait. Knowing my family they all carry weapons. That would do me no good.

"Sir," Sebastian looks down at me. "I believe we have one more guest arriving."

One MORE guest. I should really start writing this stuff down. Otherwise who knows what will happen. Just then the trees start falling down. I can hear a loud buzzing noise.

I wonder who could that be?

Suddenly a red figure runs out of the now ruined garden. The death scythe wielding maniac rund strait for Sebastian. "OH BASSY!" It yells. "I heard you wanted to go on a date with me!"

Sebastian kicks him in the head.

Who invited this crazy lunatic to my manor? Oh wait. I did. Whoopsie.

Aunt Francis seems very alarmed. She must have never seen a grim reaper before. Suddenly she pulls out a whole arsenal of weapons out of her coat. I'm starting to think that is a trait of my family. Lizzie pulls out her swords. Alois doesn't seem the least bit bothered by this situation. Claude just laughs at Sebastian. Hannah and the triplets don't seem to care.

With Alois and his servants enjoying Grell and Sebastian's fight, I decide that for once I'm not going to promote violence. Phantomhive manor has been destroyed so many times. I do not want to rebuild it anymore.

And how do you stop violence? With more violence of course! I reach down to grab my revolvers when I realize: I'm still wearing a dress. I didn't think to put any firearms in my dress. So how can I solve this issue… I KNOW!

"Sebastian! This is an order. Kill them all!" That should solve it.

"Yes, My lord."

And they all died. The end.

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JUST KIDDING.

"Sir, I'm afraid I can not do that."

"EXCUSE ME? WHY NOT?" I would really like to know. He has never disobeyed an order before.

"You said kill all of them. I cannot kill those six." He motions to Alois' servants and Grell. "If I cannot kill all of them, then I would be disobeying the order."

Bloody demon. He can kill them, he's just being lazy.

"And also our contract was formed to get revenge on the people who killed your family. If I killed your remaining family what good would that be?"

Excuses.

"Fine. Just take them all home. Get those annoyances out of here!"

"But Sir-" He complained.

"Do I care? No. Get them out of here. I'm going to sleep." Maybe with those lunatics gone I could get some work done for a change.


	5. Chapter 5

"Young Master, a letter has arrived from the queen."

A letter? What is it this time? Another cult? Mass Murderer? Has that angel been on a purifying spree again? This can't be good. The queen hasn't contacted me for weeks.

"Here is the letter sir." Sebastian hands it over. I open it up and begin to read.

Dear Ciel,

The whole country has been shaken up by a mysterious fortune teller. Few have seen her, but those who have tell of a horrifying future. I want you to figure out if it is true and then eliminate the threat by any means you feel necessary.

Queen Victoria

I can't believe I have to investigate something as stupid as a con artist fortune teller predicting mass destruction. Can't she leave that to the morons at the Scotland Yard? Knowing them though they've probably already started looking. The only issue is I don't know where this woman is. I may as well go interrogate them. It's always fun messing with the yard.

"Sebastian, we're leaving. Prepare a carriage. We're going to the Yard."

-Later at the Scotland Yard-

"Oh look its the brat again. Why are you here?" Complains Sir Randall. This should be fun. He already looks vexed and I haven't even said anything.

"You can probably guess." I say snidely holding up the letter. His face turns to a scowl. Ciel: 1 Randall: 0

I snatch the folders out of Randall's hands and give them to Sebastian. "Memorize these." Randall looks infuriated. Ciel: 2 Randall:0

"This case belongs to the yard. You Phantomhives act like you have the right to take each of our huge cases."

"Because we do." Ciel:3 Randall: 0 "Here are your folders, We're leaving."Shoving the folders back at him, I think I have annoyed them enough today. It's always fun making them mad.

-Back at the manor-

"Sebastian, who is this fortune teller?" I still don't understand why I have been asked to take this case. There's no murderer, no secret society, and nothing that requires use of any weapons. This is a mockery to my family. Something so simple left to a Phantomhive. The queen is probably still mad about my incident. In my defence that old man was a creeper and it reminded me to much of my past. This is just a test of my loyalty. As if the last test wasn't enough trouble.

"Her name is Madam Celeste. It is a rumor that she lives right here in London."

London. At least it's not far...


	6. Chapter 6

The carriage ride to London grew duller and duller by the moment. Why these missions always always consisted of a long dreary carriage ride remained a mystery to the young bluenette. Ciel tossed around waiting for something, anything interesting to happen. You see Ciel grew quite bored easily. He had tried reading. BORING. He had tried staring off into space. BORING. And finally he tried coloring. This isn't something one would expect of the Queen's guard dog, but of course this is Ciel Phantomhive we're talking about. He wasn't drawing butterflies or puppies. He was drawing the downfall of his enemies. He seemed to favor the red crayon the most because the papers were mostly red. Underneath the red you would see Grell, Trancy, Claude, the Viscount, and basically anyone who has found a way to piss off Ciel Phantomhive.

After a long few hours of coloring the carriage came to a stop. It had stopped directly next to a tent-like structure. The tent had a weird striped green and orange pattern. On top of the tent was a sign that read Madame Celeste: Future and Fortune. Ciel guessed that this was most likely a scam of some sort. Still they entered, no hesitation. This is where they made their first mistake. In an old wicker chair sat a woman with deep green hair.

"Hello young lady how may I help you?" The woman asked Ciel. The bluenette's face turned red.

"I AM NOT A LADY. I AM A MAN. WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M A LADY?" Ciel started his rage fit. muttering things such as the one time you wear a dress to some creep's party and something about a steak knife and a grim reaper.

"Well dear you're just so short and petite-" This seemed to not help the situation at all.

"I'm not short you are all just freakishly tall!" cue rage fit.

The green haired woman was surprised by how much rage a child like Ciel could have. Boys seem to look more and more like ladies these days. Just earlier a boy with his long blonde hair

in a braid had a fit after she called him short. His friend in the suit of armor had to drag him out. Such weird children. The fellow who the woman presumed was the butler dragged the smaller child out of the tent.

(Ciels POV because writing in third person is hard and boring)

Sebastian took this chance to drag me out of the situation. This is my case. I should be able to do what I want. After several minutes of some very colorful language and some very clever insults that bloody demon released me from his grasp. I could have just ordered him to let me go but what fun would that be? Besides its always fun to see that butler lose. He insisted he go inside instead of me. I of course didn't comply. Now dear readers you can probably guess what time it is. INTERROGATION TIME!

Now how should I go about this. I know.

"I would like to have my fortune told." The green haired woman looked shocked.

"Okay then. Just let me grab my stuff." Madame Celeste left the tent to gather her belongings. I was starting to get terribly bored. As much as I hate to admit it I want my red crayon back. It was fun drawing a decapitated Claude or a lifeless Lizzie. The only issue is I ran out of paper before we got here….. Sebastian will have fun cleaning the carriage.

Madame Celeste drops a crystal ball on the table in front of me. So Cliche. This'll be fun. I have no future for her to see.

"Volo futurum videre." She looks into the ball then a terrified look crosses her face. The green haired woman looks over at Sebastian. That's what you get for looking too deeply into my past.

"I-I can see great sorrow and violence in your past." Anyone can guess that.

"I want to see my future not my past. I know my past."

"Um. Okay." She stares into the crystal ball for about five minutes. A puzzled look crosses her face. "I can see a great empire up in flames. The city of London is covered in stickers and streamers. Lining the top of buildings are bows and teddy bears as far as one can see. Sitting in the middle of it all is a blonde girl laughing evilly."

Whaaat? This is just crazy. Is this the downfall of Britain that the Queen was so worried about?

"Sebastian, we're leaving. She's obviously not a threat." Sebastian bowed and then left the tent. The green haired woman still in awe gaped. Sebastian opened the carriage and saw my artwork lining the walls of the carriage.

"Young Master if you wanted a coloring book you could have just asked."

"SHUT UP!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello. This was just a random idea that popped into my head.**

It has been a week since my wild goose chase for the queen. Finally things were starting to go back to normal... Untill this happened.

"Young Master it is time for you to go to school. You'll be late."

"What? School? I told you never to lie Sebastian. "

"I'm not lying sir."

School? Are you bloody kidding me. I do not need to go to school. I have Sebastian.

Sebastian pulled out a piece of paper and began to read. "As of January 20th all minors will attend school. This was issued out by the Queen yesterday."

WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME!

"Fine then. Just tell me what to do so I can get this nonsense over with."

-time skip-

Sebastian dragged me into a brightly colored building. Sitting at the door was a middle aged woman wearing a dress covered in flowers.

"Hello. You must be our new student!" Her cheery smile disgusts me. She motions me into a small room that is also very bright and happy looking. Inside it are little children.

"I think there's been a mistake. I'm fourteen. I don't belong in a kindergarten class." The little brats all look up at me.

"Don't worry." Says the woman. " There's another child here your age too." Who could it be? None other than the bane of my existence, my arch nemesis, the blonde menace himself. I didn't see him at first in the crowd of six year olds.

"Okay um.. What's your name again?"

"Ciel"

"Okay Ciel, why don't you tell the class a little about yourself." This will be fun.

"My name is Ciel Phantomhive, Queen's Guard Dog, and Aristocrat of evil. My manor burned down with my parents inside who were sown together by an angel. I then summoned a demon who can rip out your soul and does my bidding. Any questions?"

The children looked absolutely terrified. The teacher looked stunned. Alois just sat there and laughed at them all.

Once the teacher had gotten out of shock she stood up and faced the class. We were then told to sit in a circle on the floor. "Okay class we're going to break into groups and work on our alphabet project!"

The children then broke up into smaller groups. I of course had no partner, that was untill Alois joined me. "Let's make that teacher pay for making us stay here." For once I agreed with the blonde..

"Is everyone ready to present their projects?" Asked the soon to be angry teacher. "Who wants to present first?"

Alois of course volunteered us to go first. "We wrote a song." Alois began to sing the song that we had masterfully created.

_"A is arse_

_B is for bastard_

_C is for cults that want to kill_

_D is for drugs_

_E is for ... E is for... Nevermind_

_F is for fire that burns up London_

_G is for Grim reapers who will take your soul_

_H is for-"_

The teacher dragged us into the hallway. Inside you can hear the little children yelling new found swear words. As you can probably guess we were expelled. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.


	8. Chapter 8

_I can see a great empire up in flames._

The words of Madame Celeste's prophecy haven't left Ciel Phantomhive's mind since they were spoken. He did not necessarily have a good relationship with fires. Or anything sparkly for that matter. Ciel tried to reassure himself.

_The city of London is covered in stickers and streamers._

Why would this ever happen? Is it even possible?

_Lining the top of buildings are bows and teddy bears as far as one can see._

No. She was a con artist. None of this was real or ever will be. She couldn't even come up with a good prophecy.

_Sitting in the middle of it all is a blonde girl laughing evilly._

This was the part that bugged Ciel the most. In every situation in his head this blonde girl has almost always been Elizabeth. Did she have a dark side no one knew of? She very well could… No. Elizabeth could never. Sure she did take out an entire mob of zombies on the_ Campania_, but she would never go that bluenette pondered these ideas. Could she or could she not? He honestly didn't know the extent of his fiance's sanity. Granted he didn't have the best sanity either.

Ciel looked up. What was that delicious smell? Sitting on his desk in front of him was a black forest cake. Ciel loved cake, but knew something was up. Why would his butler suddenly bring him a cake? Was he bribing him? What did the butler cloaked in black want?

"Young master, I suggest you wake up. The Midfords decided to pay you a surprise visit."

"Whaaaaat?" Now was not the time for this. It was bad enough that Madame Celeste had him under suspicion about them.

"The Midfords are in the parlor. I suggest you make yourself presentable." With that the butler left the young master to get ready on his own.

Ciel looked around and found an outfit laid out for him. It couldn't be that hard to get himself ready. The buttons are what irritated him the most. And the eyepatch. Sebastian made tying things look easy. The young master looked like a ragamuffin, but still went down stairs to greet his family.

All looked normal. Aunt Francis was waiting impatiently and lecturing Sebastian about his hair, Edward was reading a book, Alexis was staring at portraits, and Lizzie was sharpening her knives in the corner-Wait a second…. Why does Elizabeth have knives? Usually she deems them 'uncute'. Had she turned bad?

"CIEL PHANTOMHIVE WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU WEARING!" Bellowed Aunt Francis, the mother-in-law from hell.

The bluenette looked down at the outfit he was wearing. Large purple coat, short-shorts, hooker boots, this was the clothing of Alois Trancy. On top of that he wasn't wearing his eyepatch. How on earth did this happen?

_Flashback_

_"Young Master it appears a package has come for you."_

_" Who is it from?"_

_"It doesn't say."_

_"Open it."_

_Sebastian carefully opens the package fearing a bomb, instead he gets a surprise._

_"CIEL YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HOT IT IS IN BOXES THESE DAYS." Says an unclothed Alois. "CLAUDE SAYS I'M YOUR PROBLEM NOW."_

_"Sebastian get rid of it."_

_"Yes my lord."_

_End of Flashback_

That Bastard. He left his clothes here and now I'm dressed like a prostitute. Ciel quickly covered his eye.

"Would you care to explain why you are wearing shorts?" Asks Edward, unamused.

What would be the best way to go about this? Telling the truth? Nah. Confusion? That was an easy task. Something the bluenette specialized in.

"Well you see... A long time ago the four nations lived together in harmony-" started Ciel.

Francis seemed unamused. "Stop spouting nonsense! Go put on some normal clothing and come back down here so we can talk!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to you wonderful people who have reviewed and or followed. It makes me feel nice.**

Ciel sat locked up in his office. After the awful encounter with his family he couldn't bear to go back down there.

"Young Master, the Marquess would like to see you." Ciel froze. There was no way he was going to listen to his Aunt nag him.

"Tell her I'm busy." Anything was better than facing her.

"Sir, she insists."

At that moment the door to the bluenette's office swung open, revealing Francis Midford who looked very proud of herself. She held a key to the office. Ciel was unaware that there was another key besides the one that Sebastian carried. Where on earth did it come from?

"Ciel, you do remember I lived in this Manor when I was younger. I know the entire layout of this house. There is no hiding from me. NONE. Elizabeth would like to speak to you, but first I would like to ask you some questions."

Sebastian, who was still pondering where she could have gotten the key from, decided to step in. "Young Master, Lady Elizabeth will grow impatient if you do not hurry. You do remember what happened last time you left her alone at the manor. I still find glitter around the parlor. I suggest you comply with Lady Midford."

"Fine. On one condition…"

"Which is?" Francis was growing impatient with her nephew. He was almost as bad as his father sometimes.

"I would like to speak with her alone. You and the remainder of your family can go play pool or something." Ciel sat up in his large armchair and looked at his aunt, who was obviously unamused by his wishes.

"WHY IS THAT? Do you suspect her of murder? Do you wish to dispose of her? Is there a reason you want to be alone? If so can you please save it for another time. I DO NOT WANT MY DAUGHTER DOING-"

This is when the bluenette tuned out. To be honest he feared his Aunt more than anything. Even more than Sebastian.

"ANSWER ME!" She looked like she could kill him any moment now. Ciel was grateful Sebastian was still in the room. What however bugged him was the fact the butler in black did nothing to stop her. He just sat there and laughed.

"Relax, I just wanted her honest opinion on Funtom's latest product. It's a unicorn. She of all people would know what girls like." LIES.

"Are you sure?" The Marquess raised a single eyebrow, as if to show she did not believe the Phantomhive.

"I swear on my Earl Alois Trancy's grave." Ehem, LIES.

"He's still alive." One day Ciel would like to string that boy up by his booty shorts and shoot him repeatedly with his revolvers.

Ciel's face then turned evil. "There's no problem with planning ahead, is there?" Francis questioned his sanity. After all he did wear booty shorts AND a dress.

"Oh I see. So tell me Ciel, why do you like to dress like a woman? Would you rather be a woman?"

The bluenette's face turned red, remembering the incident. It was not a day that will be remembered fondly by either Ciel, nor the Midford household.

"THAT WAS ONE- I MEAN TWO… You what none of those were my fault. Those bastards-" Ciel continued to curse the Trancys and the Viscount of Druitt. It was THEIR faults. Not his.

Sebastian, who was on the other side of the office could see why his master was so afraid of the Marquess. She definitely earned the nickname Mother-In-Law From Hell. To be honest she scared him. Francis was even scarier than some demons that he knew. Such an interesting human….

"Young Master, would you like me to remove Lady Midford from your office and bring Lady Elizabeth."

Francis turned her deadly gaze to the butler. "Don't you even think about it. I will not go anywhere until your hair is fixed. Do I make myself clear?"

"My lady, if you would like to fix my hair you may."

"Fine then. I will leave. Don't try anything Phantomhive. I can and will murder you in your sleep!"

With that Sebastian and the Marquess left the office, leaving Ciel all alone.

"FREEDOM!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello. I'm updating instead of doing homework. Hooray for procrastination. Sorry for the wait. I've got a lot of stuff going on… One of which is Attack on Titan. That anime is freaking amazing. I highly recommend it for gore anime fans. That and I am lazy. If any of you have any ideas or anything for another chapter it would be greatly appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own kuroshitsuji. Or anything else that I feel the need to reference.**

Elizabeth sat in the corner of the parlor sharpening her knives, pretending that they were the heads of her victims. Most had not noticed, but something had changed. She was no longer he happy joyful person she appeared to be. She infact was worse. Ever since the ring incident, she felt the need to learn to defend herself, thus turning into an obsession. After all, if she is to marry into the Phantomhive house she needs to know how to defend herself. She knew how to use swords better than anyone (except maybe her mother), but still yearned to learn more. Elizabeth pondered different scenarios…

The doors to the parlor opened suddenly. There at the doorway stood Ciel Phantomhive. He was obviously not in a good mood after his latest encounter with her mother. The bluenette looked as if he wanted to strangle something, (most likely Sebastian) and was probably about to start ranting. He quickly slammed the door after looking around outside of it.

"FINALLY. The she-devil is gone! Now maybe I can do some investigating without that damn demon around or those troublesome lunatics getting in my way!" Exclaimed Ciel, unaware of Elizabeth's presence.

Elizabeth just stayed in her bluenette had not yet noticed her, but she did not intend for it to stay that way. Plus now she had some pretty juicy blackmail…

"What do you mean by that?"

Ciel slowly turns around and reaches for his revolvers, suspecting kidnappers. After all it wouldn't be the first time. Out of the shadows steps the empress of evil herself, Elizabeth Midford.

"Ciel Phantomhive, I've been expecting you." Elizabeth announced. "You see I'm tired of being the annoying supporting cast. I would like to be something more… Yes much more. No longer the dumbass who can not fend for herself. One day Ciel, I WILL RULE ALL OF EUROPE! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Ciel stood in awe. What was wrong with her? Did Lau drug her again? (AN: Yes I said again) Are the shinigami exacting their revenge? This was not the Elizabeth he was used to. Wait. This isn't Elizabeth.

"WHO THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY ELIZABETH!"

Elizabeth suddenly collapsed onto the ground. Her voice was shaky.

"Your Elizabeth. You really do love me? How sweet Ciel!" Elizabeth continued her 'you're so cute' rant. "To bad you stand in my way. I'll spare you for now. Goodbye Ciel Phantomhive. The next time we meet we may not be on such good terms."

Ciel stood back, revolver in hand, and waited for signs that this was infact the Lizzie he knew. She showed no signs. He took his aim, arms shaky. Was he really going to shoot his fiance? He had no choice. She threatened the crown. As the Queen's guard dog he must eliminate the threats. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, Lizzie vanished in a cloud of smoke. Her whereabouts unknown.

**Wow. That is probably my least crack like chapter. Oh well. **


	11. Chapter 11

Hannah Anafeloz sat atop the roof of Trancy Manor, weapons at arms. She had been called upon to defend the Manor from a mysterious blonde figure in the woods. It had been circling the manor and she could not tell what it was. The demon maid was not even sure if it was a threat. Infact the only reason she was up there in the first place was because Alois saw a bush move and it scared him. The lazyass butler then relayed the duty to Miss Anafeloz. Why did she allways have to clean up the mess? What was this mysterious bush creature?  
Somewhere in the forest surrounding Trancy Manor sat a girl covered in branches. This girl as you could probably guess was Elizabeth Midford. She had cleverly disguised herself as a bush. Elizabeth did not know why she felt the need to be a bush or why she was hiding out around Trancy Manor. All she knew was one moment she was sharpening her knives, and then the next she was at Trancy Manor. Because of her previous visit to Trancy Manor she figured it would be best to avoid interaction with its occupants. She did not want to die.  
The lavender-haired demon once again circled the building. She knew something was there, she could just not tell what. It's soul was complicated to say the least. At first glance it was human, but if you looked a little closer a dark aura seemed to appear. Hannah was tired from all of the chores (that again that Lazyass butler didn't do) and wanted to avoid any fighting. She still carried a machine gun just in case.  
Suddenly a twig snapped that Elizabeth was standing on.  
"WHO'S THERE?"  
Elizabeth stood completely still, although this did not help because the other had superior senses. Hannah Anafellows turned completely around and faced where Elizabeth was discuised.  
"Oh dear, we have a rat. Come out. Identify yourself!"  
Elizabeth, still covered beyond recondition in twigs, decided it was no use hiding from the maid. She steped out and decided to wing it.  
"I am bush sempi. Ruler of the Shrubs! I request to see Lord Trancy immediately, for my people are become indangered." Said the feminine sounding bush.  
The demon maid looked questionably at the bush, which strangely enough had huge blonde pigtails sticking out the top. She could be good and not let the bush in... But then she would have to deal with it. If she let Bush Sempi in, then the blonde brat would order Claude to get rid of it and she wouldn't have to... Claude was kind of pissing her off.  
Hannah dropped her weapon.  
"Right this way, your highness."  
Elizabeth was lead through the grand hallways of Trancy Manor untill they reaches a large door, which no doubt was the notorious Alois Trancy's office. Of course he never did any paperwork there. That was all left to the demon maid. Alois was currently hanging upside on his oversized armchair. Absolutely no work was being done here.  
The earl stood up as soon as the door opened. Alois smirked as he saw who it was. Everyone in Trancy Manor knew exactly who the masked bush was, if they couldn't see through such a shitty discuise, what kind of a servant would they be?  
"Hello. Who may I ask are you?"  
The bush smiled. They didn't suspect her. BS.  
"I am Bush Sempi of the Shrubs. I would like to ask for help in our on going war against the Oaks"  
Alois was obviously unamused.  
"Okay Midford. Cut the bullshit. What the hell do you want?"  
The girl gasped. He had seen through her cleverly thought out and planned discuise?  
"What gave me away?"  
"The large blonde spirals on your head. No one else can have that gravity deifying hair. Seriously. How much hairspray do you use?"  
The blonde just brushed of the question. She did not want to give away her beauty secrets.  
"I just want to go back to Phantomhive Manor. Can you call Ciel please?"  
Now the Trancy boy had a bargaining piece. Sweet. He could use this to his advantage.  
"Of course. Please excuse me for a moment."

**AN: HEYYYY. I'm back. Anywho, I finaly updated this thing. Sorry. Writer's block is a bitch. I have written some new stories though.  
If you like shinigami dispatch stories I have one out called The Adventures of Super Grell and Ronnie Poo.  
If you like OHSHC and SNK I have a crossover called Shingeki no Host Club.  
Check them out!  
Thanks for your continued support. I was looking through some reviews/comments and some of you said you wanted some romance. I was wondering what you meant by that. What are ya'll's ships? I want to know.  
Until next time dear readers.**


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